i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
