he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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