I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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