I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
