Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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