the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize