weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Randomize
