Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
