Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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