think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Panties = found
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
