i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize