just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
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I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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