My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
