i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
