We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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