the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He felt like a one man threesome
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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