Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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