Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
