Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
