giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
