Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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