Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just want to make out with him forever
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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