I think i peed on brittanys purse
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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