You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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