Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
