Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
