either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Randomize