so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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