I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
