Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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