And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
