garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You were trust falling into bushes
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
