I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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