come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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