nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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