Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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