She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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