I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
