it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
