he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor