i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.