i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize