that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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