Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Randomize
