i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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