She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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