I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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