There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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