I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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