Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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