ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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