He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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