There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
