it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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