I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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