I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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