that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
