I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
