literally had 100 drinks last night.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
