The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
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so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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