i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
