don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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