We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
