we're chasing vodka with high fives
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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