She even gives head with a lisp.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
