His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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