JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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