hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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