btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
two words...techno handjob
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
