then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
